New York Penal Law Sec. 255.17

New York Penal Law

Sec. 255.17 Adultery

NYPL § 240.35 Loitering

In NY loitering is not what most people think it is. In the State of New York a person isn’t violating the law when they loiter unless they are on school grounds, a college university, or a bus depot (we’ll get back to the bus depots to discuss the exceptions there).

So standing around on a street corner or outside of a store is not actually criminal loitering.

If you are standing around and then one of your friends pulls out a pair of dice or a domino though, then you’re a criminal. 

If you are only standing there in matching white shirts that are four sizes too large with your jeans belted just above your knees exposing the entirety of your bright red underwear, that’s totally fine. However, the second one of your more criminally minded friends brings up the idea of involving some playing cards or poker chips then you better get the fuck out of there!

This leads us to something that has been a topic of much debate in recent years, masks. If you are standing around in public with a mask on and your friends are also wearing masks, then you are guilty of criminal loitering.

What about the mask mandate in NYC? You explain to the cop, “I took my mask off so I wouldn’t be violating section 240.35 by criminally loitering with all these other mask wearers.” You let twelve know that you are the one showing respect to the blue and it is these latte-sipping paycheck collecting bitches that are showing a total disregard for the State of New York’s criminal loitering law!

READ THE LAW BELOW:

§ 240.35 – Loitering A person is guilty of loitering when he:

• Loiters or remains in a public place for the purpose of gambling with cards, dice or other gambling paraphernalia; or

• Being masked or in any manner disguised by unusual or unnatural attire or facial alteration, loiters, remains or congregates in a public place with other persons so masked or disguised, or knowingly permits or aids persons so masked or disguised to congregate in a public place; except that such conduct is not unlawful when it occurs in connection with a masquerade party or like entertainment if, when such entertainment is held in a city which has promulgated regulations in connection with such affairs, permission is first obtained from the police or other appropriate authorities; or

• Loiters or remains in or about school grounds, a college or university building or grounds or a children’s overnight camp; or

• Loiters or remains in any transportation facility, unless specifically authorized to do so, for the purpose of soliciting or engaging in business, trade or commercial transactions involving the sale of merchandise or services, or for the purpose of entertaining persons by singing, dancing or playing any musical instrument.